Oh crochet, why do you hate me so?

~sigh~ I have this absolutely lovely yarn that I am struggling to make into a hat. It is NOT cooperating. My rounds don't want to round, my picots don't want to picot, nothing is shaping up as it should. Instead of a hat, I have a lovely lacy doily. Truly, crochet is an excellent exercise in learning patience. (And if you think it's hard on its own, try doing all this with two kittens on your lap that love nothing better than to pounce on any piece of yarn that moves!)